Sappho's Friends

1. Purpose and Scope

This document outlines the ethical principles and behavioral expectations that guide all events and community spaces hosted by Sappho's Friends, a queer-centered organization for queer women, non-binary people and trans people of all genders.

These guidelines apply to everyone involved—organizers, volunteers, collaborators and participants—across all in-person and digital spaces.

Our values are rooted in:

• Accessibility
• Anti-oppression
• Consent
• Intersectionality
• Community accountability
• Non-Europatriarchal and decolonial practices

We aim to co-create spaces that are safer, inclusive, and liberatory for those most marginalized within queer communities.

2. Core Values

Accessibility is a right, not a bonus:
We commit to making our spaces physically, socially, economically, and emotionally accessible. Accessibility includes but is not limited to: step-free access, low-sensory environments, translation/interpretation, financial inclusion and respect for all communication and processing styles.

Zero Tolerance for Harassment, Discrimination, or Abuse:
We do not tolerate any form of:

• Harassment or stalking
• Discrimination (racism, ableism, transmisogyny, ageism, fatphobia, xenophobia, etc.)
• Unwanted sexual attention
• Misgendering or deadnaming
• Abuse of power or manipulation

If a participant or member is found to have subjected others to unwanted behavior, they may be removed from the space or future activities, regardless of intent.

Consent and Boundaries Are Non-Negotiable:
Consent must be clear, enthusiastic, and ongoing. This applies to physical contact, conversation topics, photographs, emotional labor, and participation in any activity.

Intersectionality and Anti-Oppression:
We acknowledge that no form of oppression exists in isolation. Our practices and policies are designed with attention to how systems of power interact in people’s lived experiences.

3. Community Expectations

Respect Self-Determination:
Always respect how people define themselves. This includes their names, pronouns, identities, relationships, and needs.

Give and Make Space:
Step back if you tend to take up a lot of space. Step up if you’re able to support others or call something out.

Practice Active Listening:
Listen to understand, not to respond. Be open to correction and feedback without becoming defensive.

Use Inclusive Language:
Avoid assumptions and generalizations. Use gender-neutral and culturally respectful language whenever possible.

Own Your Impact:
Intent does not erase impact. If you hurt someone, even unintentionally, take accountability, apologize and adjust your behavior.

4. What Counts as Unwanted Behavior?

Unwanted behavior includes, but is not limited to:

• Repeatedly ignoring someone’s boundaries
• Misgendering, deadnaming, or outing someone without consent
• Making racist, sexist, ableist, transphobic, or otherwise discriminatory comments
• Unwanted flirting, touching, or sexual comments
• Non-consensual photography or filming
• Mocking or dismissing someone’s access needs, culture, or way of communicating
• Gaslighting, manipulation, or abuse of social or organizational power

These behaviors are harmful regardless of intent. This applies to all Sappho’s Friends events and spaces. Any issue of serious harm or conflict happening outside of Sappho’s Friends by our members may have an impact on our community and events. The board will be the one in charge of reviewing these situations in alignment with the Code of Ethics.

5. Accountability & Action

Everyone in our spaces has a shared responsibility to uphold these values. If you witness or experience a violation of these guidelines—whether it’s a moment of microaggression or a serious breach—you are encouraged to take action in a way that feels safe and supportive.

You can:

• Interrupt the behavior directly (if it feels safe)
• Check in with the person affected and offer support
• Inform a volunteer or organizer during the event
• Submit a “varsel” (notification) by email or through our anonymous reporting form

Handling of “Varsler” (Notifications or Formal Complaints)

If a formal complaint (varsel) is submitted, it will be treated as a serious matter by the organization. The board of Sappho’s Friends is the designated body responsible for:

• Receiving and reviewing the varsel
• Ensuring confidentiality, fairness and safety for all involved parties
• Following up with all relevant individuals in a timely manner
• Taking appropriate action based on the severity of the case

This may include:

• Facilitating dialogue or mediation (with consent)
• Issuing verbal or written warnings
• Restricting or removing individuals from events, roles and/or digital channels
• Restricting or removing individuals from Sappho’s Friends if needed
• Referring the case to external authorities if needed. This is included but not limited to the physical or sexual assault, threats of violence, ongoing abuse or harassment that poses a safety risk, possession or use of illegal substances if serious or endangering other.

The board is committed to transparency in process, protecting those who come forward from retaliation, and maintaining the ethical standards of our community.

If you have questions about how to submit a varsel or want to discuss a situation in confidence, you can reach the board directly at: hello@sapphosfriends.no

6. Self-Compassion and Growth

We are all in different stages of unlearning oppressive conditioning. We encourage humility, curiosity, and compassion—both for ourselves and each other. Mistakes happen; accountability matters more than perfection.

Learning is part of liberation.

7. Feedback & Living Document Policy

These guidelines are not static. They will be reviewed regularly and updated in consultation with our community.

If you have suggestions, concerns, or want to help make our spaces more accessible or inclusive, we want to hear from you.

Contact: hello@sapphosfriends.no

Written by Alejandra, submitted on her behalf.